The Inauguration

I decided on the 19th at about 11 in the morning that I was definitely going to go down to D.C. for the inauguration. I had mentioned it a couple times to my parents but I don't think they took me seriously. So I called my friend Amy up and convinced her to go with me. One ironic thing about Amy: We don't hang out that much. Maybe once every three weeks... maybe. But we've gone to France together, we've gone to Illinois together, we've gone to Florida together, and now D.C. I guess she's the friend that's always up to doing anything, even if it's a completely insane idea. So I go up to work and tell my mom that I'm going. She says absolutely not. But after practicing my persuasive speech abilities she says it's okay as long as Dad is fine with it. So I then call my Dad. Who I had to convince for another 20 minutes. Then I had to call Jess to see if I could stay the night at her house. Finally at about 1 o'clock everything was worked out, and I was officially embarking on my first road trip by myself. 

I picked up Amy around 7:30 that night. The GPS told us that our arrival time would be 2:46 AM, but we were determined to get it down to 2. For the first two hours everything went fine until we hit a construction area. We didn't have to worry about traffic because it was in the middle of the night, but our GPS was telling us that we had driven off the highway into the unmapped blue area. Amy, thinking the situation's completely hilarious won't stop laughing. So without any direction, and hoping I'm still on the right highway I begin navigating down a steep area of road. And because of the road construction, I seriously had less than two feet on my left before reaching the cement divider, and less than two feet on my right before reaching the metal guardrail protecting us from the steep drop off. But not to be outdone, I continued at my 80 mph (the speed the car in front of me was traveling). We made it out of the construction perfectly safe, our GPS finally corrected itself, and our time was reduced from 2:46 AM to 2:21. :)

Hours later, completely exhausted we pulled into Jess's.  I visited with the nephew a bit before crashing at around 2:15. We were back up at 6 o'clock in an attempt to escape a little of the crowd. We would have left earlier but there was no way I would have been able to operate for another full day on anything less than 3 and a half hours.

So with the OC spray in hand, Amy and I got back in the car and headed down highway 50 to the New Carrolton exit. The Metro was supposed to be about a mile and a half down the ramp. We soon discovered that the traffic leading up to the exit stretched down the highway almost a quarter mile. After waiting twenty or so minutes we were finally off 50 and inching down the ramp. 

Cars were parked all along the shoulder, so Amy and I decided we would follow suit. I didn't think that it was the best idea in the world, but under our circumstances I was very afraid that there would be no parking further down at the metro. So we parked the car on the shoulder and began walking. 

That's when the crowd started. We walked along side a black family that had come down from PA. They were so excited to be there for the inauguration. Even though race means nothing to me, I couldn't help but be happy for them.

I couldn't even see inside the station from where Amy and I were in line. We bought one day passes even though they were a couple bucks more so we wouldn't have to get in line for tickets inside.

 About an hour later as we were crammed in a mass of people thirty feet from the entrance, we heard over the loud speaker, "Any persons parked on the exit ramp will be towed if not moved." I think, "Shit, now what? If I give up my spot I'll be waiting at least another two hours, if I don't I'm looking at an expensive towing fee." I didn't even know if we were capable of leaving. Amy, again, thinks my misfortune is hilarious, but at least convinced me the smart thing to do would be to go back and get the car. So after much pushing and shoving we escape the crowd and begin to jog back to the car. A little bit down the road we decide to walk (it was like 20 degrees out. Not comfortable weather to be running in) when a lady pulls up along side of us and asks if we're going to get our car on the ramp. We tell her yes, she says we had better start running because the trucks are there now. So I give the keys to Amy, my two-time-marathon-running friend. And thankfully she got to the car before they towed us away. I didn't see any trucks, but the cops were there, and gave me a bit of a time.

So we then drove down the ramp and parked in a private parking spot. I didn't really care at this point where we parked, as long as it wasn't on the side of the road. On our way back to the metro, a lady tells us that the wait is four hours long. Sooo with it being around nine, that would place us in D.C. an hour after the inauguration. I tell Amy, "Screw it, I'm driving into D.C. I don't care where we end up as long as we find a place to park." So I pull off the highway in what seemed to be the "8th and I" area, but unfortunately nothing looked familiar. We drove around for an hour and every parking space was taken. EVERY PARKING SPACE!!!! I was about ready to give up when I see an office building with a big parking sign on the corner of Florida and 20th. We pull in and the guy tells us that the first garage is full we would have to use the second. To get into the second garage we had to pull around the building, and drive up a narrow ramp to get inside. The place was empty. Not one car. The guy in there tells me the metro's a block and a half away and that it will be $20 to park. I begrudgingly give him my money. He then tells me I have to park in the basement, orange section, and if I don't I'll be towed. So, with my second threat of being towed, I cautiously make my way to the basement. And still the whole place is practically empty. I was almost certain a gang was going to be waiting down there with machine guns to kidnap us. But no one was there. 

We safely parked the car and began walking down Connecticut Ave toward the Dupont Metro.  We finally get on the Red Line. I text Jess and ask her what's happening out there in the world, since by watching the news she knows more about what's happening than I do. She tells me a person got hit by a train on the Red Line so they shut down two stops and it's expected to be delayed an hour and a half. She tells me if I'm anywhere near the Red Line to get off and go someplace else. So we decide to leave the metro and just walk. At this point I knew I need to go south to get to the mall, and that it couldn't possibly be more than six miles away. To be safe, I figured around 20 minutes a mile, that means two hours of walking if it was six miles away, which I highly doubted. Either way we would have made it on time. I later asked a national guard guy how far it was. He said quite a way. I asked for the exact distance. He said 1.5 miles. lol He had me worrying it was going to be like 8 or something. ANYWAY, We began walking along Connecticut, and people began pouring in from the side streets. Soon enough, Connecticut was blocked from traffic, and people poured into it. 

There's nothing like walking down an empty city street, with thousands and thousands of other strangers all heading in the same direction, the only traffic being us, and the only destination being the mall. It was weird, but it was very cool. So we followed the traffic out Pennsylvannia Ave. onto the mall. 

The first thing I saw was the "Jesus People". I snapped a few pictures before they began calling out, "How can Obama, having two daughters, be for abortion? Obama's a hypocrite!" The crowd wasn't happy. They began to boo, the finger started flying around, threats were being yelled. I told Amy we had better move on before we witness a murder. 

We got caught in the mob a couple times. There were people with every single piece of Obama merchandise possible displayed on their being. One lady had a trench coat laminated with Obama newspaper clippings. I saw quite a few people with jackets completely covered with Obama Buttons. I didn't think we were going to be able to escape, but we made it eventually.

Amy had never been to D.C. so I was determined for her to see the Capital building. We pushed forward till we saw the tip of it before we retreated from the insanity to safety. We ended up watching the inauguration on a huge TV screen next to the Washington Monument. That was all I was expecting anyway.

 I stayed for Rick Warren's 'prayer', if one can even call it that, and Obama's swearing in. We started walking back to the car shortly after he started his speech. I figured I could watch it later online. I wanted to get ahead of the two million other people there. We left D.C. at 2:30, drove up to BBC to visit Sam, left BBC at 7:15, and I pulled in my driveway at 11:30. Absolutely insane...

Shovelling

So today for about ten minutes I was parked outside the local hardware store. My mom had gone inside to buy some windshield wiper fluid. I was feeling pretty stupid because I didn't know how to refill it. Although, I'm positively sure if I was left to myself I could have figured it out. It wasn't really that complicated at all. The only part I would have screwed up is the punching-the-hood-of-the-car-to-open-it part. That wasn't entirely self-explainitory. 

Anyway, as I was sitting there with the snow falling serenely from the sky (we already have around two feet of heavy compacted snow and we're still getting more), I noticed this guy shoveling the sidewalk in front of me. Apparently he was used to the 20 degree weather, because he wasn't wearing a jacket or gloves. But he was  very diligent in his shoveling. He shoveled that whole sidewalk three times, made sure both edges were completely even, and even scooped up the small bits of snow that had fallen off of his shovel. I've lived in Buffalo for eight years now and have never seen a person pay so much attention to their shoveling as this man. After it was all clear, I was certain he was done. I mean, it looked pretty good to me. But then he began to chip away at the hard, icy snow that covered the pavement. Bit by bit he scraped it up and threw it into the snow bank, and little by little the new, soft snowflakes fell in behind him. To make my point, this was not an old man with all the time in the world on his hands. This was a twenty-something year old guy who probably had much better things to be doing. He doesn't work for the hardware, because the same three people have been running that store since the 80's. I have a suspicion he lives in the house next door. So, this guy just spent ten minutes or more (he was working when I pulled up) clearing a seven foot space of pavement with exact detail and preciseness, for no obvious reason, while the snow continued to fall. I was thoroughly impressed. 

My mom came back before he finished so I didn't get to see the final product. But it got me thinking. The whole situation was very much like life. Shit still falls, whether we shovel or not. But it's our shoveling that makes life work. He was methodical and purposeful, and now the sidewalk is a transportation masterpiece. I'd want to walk on that sidewalk over the sidewalks I shovel any day. 

Change

Do people change? I'm talking a major internal shift emotionally or mentally. Having very close ties to the ministry for the last ten years or so...well really since I can remember, I was convinced that no matter what 'man doesn't change'. This view was conceived out of years of disappointment, and letdown. The church I attend has been failing since it's formation in the 1850s. In my eight years here, I've seen attendance go from 30 to 80 to 50 back to 80 to 40 and now to about 25. People came, were converted, had their lives 'changed', began discipleship, only to slowly remove themselves, and eventually never to come back. Nothing that was said or done mattered. I've seen so many different people walk through the doors of the church. And they were 'changed', but they're not here now. It wasn't for real. It was all an act. 

A close friend of mine was abused by her father when she was little. They were missionaries over in China (Needless to say, her father resigned from ministry). But my friend has carried that hurt inside, and refuses to let it go. Her past is too much with her. It controls her life. It's the underlying current that lurks in the shadows of every decision she makes. Maybe it's not possible for people to change, because no one is willing. If my friend were to move beyond her past, she would lose everything she is. She would lose her identity. Because her past defines her. My past defines me. I leave some, I take some, add and subtract. But I'm still me. I haven't changed.

So often I hear, "just pray for them, God will do the work", "the Holy Spirit is the only thing that can help man change", "without God, they will never change" but I haven't seen God change people. I've seen people predisposed to God. But I haven't seen someone change to fully embrace God. In my experiences with my church those who claim conversion have never lasted more than three years. I'm told that this is what church is, and what ministry is, but I want nothing to do with it. 

So after that rambling mess, I think i would say that change is simply an illusion. Tennyson states it perfectly, "Let the great world spin forever down the ringing grooves of change".

Looked like too much fun.... They're definitely not all from '08, rather they're which song I listened too the most during that month.

January- Lose Yourself, Eminem

February- Hands Held High, Linkin Park

March- Tears Don't Fall, Bullet for My Valentine

April- First Day of My Life, Bright Eyes

May- Say It To Me Now- Glen Hansard

June- Hey Jude, the Beatles (from Across the Universe)

July- Violet Hill, Coldplay

August- Forever Young, Youth Group

September- Listening to Freddie Mercury, Emery

October- Jesus Christ, Brand New

November- The Image of the Invisible, Thrice

December- The Good Left Undone, Rise Against

Origins of Evil

Could an all-loving God create evil? It seems like that would be against His very nature. Because if God created everything, and if evil exists what does this show us about God's nature? Is He both good and bad? Benevolent and Malicious? And if He created evil, He tried to trick us with it. Because evil is beautiful and the most alluring lie ever. I mean, we don't even get a warning sometimes. It's just BAM right there. We don't even see it coming. I've been thinking this through the past few months. The day I came home from college I had a good conversation with a friend about the origins of evil. I told him I thought maybe evil is not tangible. Good is tangible, we can see it and feel it, but maybe evil is simply the absence of good. God created good. But where God is removed, evil resides. He said the idea sounded familiar and later posted this note:

"According to popular story there was once a university professor who challenged his class with the following question: If God created everything, then He also created evil. From the audience a young student replied in return with the question of whether darkness did or did not exist. Naturally the professor responded in the affirmative and so the student proceeded to explain his position. Just as there is no way to measure the depths of darkness there is no real way of measuring evil. On the other hand however we can indeed measure light. A prism will divide a beam of light into different wavelengths and colors. Yet there is no band for darkness, because darkness is the absence of light. In the same fashion evil is the absence of God. God did not create evil. Evil is the word we use to describe the absence of God just as darkness is a word used to describe the absence of light. The name of the student was Albert Einstein."

Evil like darkness cannot be tangible because it is only a condition, only an absence of the good/light.

From Modern Christianity, greetings!

Where to start? I guess with, "We are the sum of our past experiences." Is that a good thing? I don't know. Very easily I could say, "No, it is most definitely not a good thing." But if I were to have had the most perfect past experiences would I still feel the same? Would I see life the same way? I'd be someone different with different thoughts and goals. But you see, my past makes me bitter.

Coming from a world in which children are taught the fundamentals of their parents faith through talking cartoon vegetables. Where "Satan is a Nerd" tee-shirts are at the height of fashion, and "A Bread Crumb and Fish," is more preferable than "Abercrombie and Fitch." Where tee-shirts with a cross on them saying, "This Shirt is Illegal" are paraded around by the bold Christians. (Maybe in China it might be considered illegal. Please go over there to fulfill your need to feel like a martyr.) Where Casting Crowns (a second-rate version of second-rate mainstream music) is practically deified, and we satisfy all of our literary needs through Thomas Nelson publications. Where our Holy book is now being produced to look like a fashion magazine in the hope of making it more acceptable to the ignorant teen culture. Where questioning is encouraged as long as it stays within the confines of orthodoxy. (Beware: before beginning one's questioning, let it be known that one's salvation might coming into question by others) Where our spirituality is measured by the length of our hair, lack of tattoos, and whether we wear a skirt to church. Where transparency is being preached everywhere I look, but all I see are the most un-transparent, bigoted, selfish, self-righteous and proud individuals I have ever met. Where they make a subpar "christian" version of everything to correspond with their "separatist" lifestyle. Where our fucking replacement for Spiderman is Bibleman. And where parents make their children jump up and down before a painting of saints ascending to heaven in preparation for the rapture.  From Modern Christianity, greetings!

The Road Goes Ever On and On

An excerpt from,"The Road Goes Ever On and On", by J.R.R. Tolkien:

Still round the corner there may wait

A new road or a secret gate,

And though I oft have passed them by,

A day will come at last when I

Shall take the hidden paths that run

West of the Moon, East of the Sun.

I've been thinking about starting a blog for sometime, but never really knew what to say. 

Maybe this will end up being an exploration of, "the hidden paths that run

West of the Moon, East of the Sun"